


Insomniac

by saltwaterstarlight



Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Fluff, Jihoon has a lot of pressure on him, M/M, Sharing a Bed, Sleepy Cuddles, bc i can't be tamed, n shit, started as drabble but has become multi-chapter
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-06-28
Updated: 2016-10-17
Packaged: 2018-07-18 17:01:10
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 11,085
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7323487
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/saltwaterstarlight/pseuds/saltwaterstarlight
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>All Seungcheol wanted was for Jihoon to get a good night's sleep for once.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Good Night

When Seungcheol came back to the Pledis building it was already pretty late. He had come to the habit of taking late night runs before bed, mostly because he usually only had the time for it around then. Plus, he liked the night chill. 

 

The building was quiet and Seungcheol only met one tired looking staff member on his way to the common kitchen to grab a bottle of water. On his way there he decided to take a quick detour into a certain member’s studio because he could still hear faint music coming from the room, and Seungcheol wasn’t a fan of Jihoon overworking himself. 

 

When he entered Jihoon was sitting hunched over his desk, back towards Seungcheol, completely immersed in his work. 

 

“Hey.” Seungcheol threw the hoodie he’d been wearing to the side, on the floor of the small studio. A move that would have most members fearing for their lives if they dared try it, but Seungcheol only received a pointed look as he approached.

 

“Hey yourself.” Jihoon turned back to his computer, and Seungcheol went to lean on his backrest to peek at Jihoon’s work.

 

“You doing alright?” Seungcheol thought that Jihoon had anticipated his nagging because he heard him let out a sigh.

 

“I’m just looking over the newest demos that I sent.” Jihoon raised a hand to rub at his eyes. “They just gave it right back and told me that there was something missing, but I can’t for the life of me figure out what it is.”

 

Seungcheol looked at the many muted instrumental tracks on the computer screen, and then down at the tired boy underneath him, the weight of multiple failed attempts at fixing this song apparent in the way his shoulders slumped. 

 

If this was a couple years ago, Seungcheol would have probably felt insecure by all the weight that Jihoon was pulling. He probably would’ve just thought about his own position as leader being threatened, but now he knew better than that. He knew how lucky they were to have someone as talented as Jihoon in their band, and he had come to the realization that since Jihoon was already taking so much responsibility for the band, it was Seungcheol’s job as leader to be responsible for Jihoon. 

 

Seungcheol reached down to rub at the tenseness in Jihoon’s shoulders, which earned him a pleased noise as Jihoon leaned into his touch. Seungcheol knew that Jihoon didn’t need him to  help with producing, so instead he made sure to help Jihoon where he was actually lacking, namely, taking care of himself. 

 

He did so in small gestures like making sure he drank enough water, stopping by the studio to  ~~ bother ~~ check up on him, and of course by occasionally forcing him to go to bed despite Jihoon insisting that he’s in “the zone”.

 

“You sure you shouldn’t go sleep on it?” Seungcheol kept rubbing circles into Jihoon’s shoulders, he could feel the muscles underneath his fingers relaxing.

 

“No, not yet.” A pretty standard answer from Lee Jihoon. “I just want to try a few things first.” Seungcheol could hear the exhaustion in Jihoon’s voice, and he considered dragging him off to bed, but he also knew that as Jihoon was right now, he’d probably just sneak back to the studio or lie awake until dawn thinking about different arrangements. 

 

“Alright,” Seungcheol resigned himself, “but promise not to stay up too late, alright?”

 

“Yes dad.” Seungcheol gave Jihoon a flick on the ear for that but still laughed as he left the room.

 

As Seungcheol went up to take a shower, he thought about the boy back in the studio. Tiredness seemed to be etched into his bones and nowadays Seungcheol couldn’t seem to stop worrying about it. It had been about a year since Seungcheol had decided that it was his job to take care of Jihoon, and the more time passed the more he felt the need to make sure that Jihoon was doing ok. Some nights Seungcheol wondered if his need to take care of Jihoon went past the duties his own made-up job, entering a whole other area that Seungcheol was a bit scared to even acknowledge. 

 

Most members didn’t seem to reflect on his behaviour. Jihoon and Seungcheol had always been close, and Seungcheol had always been a caring person, but he was pretty sure that Jeonghan had noticed. He had seen it in the knowing look that he’d given him a couple of weeks back, backstage at some show, when Seungcheol had told Jun and Soonyoung off a little too harshly for attempting to wake Jihoon up, who had  _ finally _ managed to doze off after an all-nighter in the studio.  

 

The fact that Jeonghan had seemed to see it made Seungcheol inch even closer to the realization that maybe he cared more about Jihoon than he should. 

 

As Seungcheol stepped out of the shower he cursed to himself because he realized that he had forgotten to ask Jihoon if he’d eaten anything. This was of course something that Jihoon pretty much never did when he was in studio, unless someone  ~~ Seungcheol ~~ made him. So Seungcheol decided that he needed to bring him at least something before going to bed. 

 

After putting on a t-shirt and a pair of sweatpants Seungcheol made his way towards the kitchen to see what he could bring. Looking in the fridge he found a couple of “power brownies” -the ones with no sugar and a bunch of weird syrups and nuts in them- that one of the stylist-noonas had left them, which he took out. He also made a cup of green tea. Since unless it was necessary to keep him going for music shows and whatnot, Seungcheol was strictly against fueling Jihoon’s caffeine addiction.

 

Seungcheol made his way downstairs to the part of the building where the studios and the practice rooms were located. By now, the whole of Pledis seemed to have gone to sleep, whether they were home or collapsed by their workplace. 

 

As he neared Jihoon’s studio he could still hear faint music coming from the room, only this time it wasn’t one those godforsaken demos, but a much older song. Seungcheol recognized the soft piano straight away, it was gyeoul san, the mixtape he and Hansol had recorded pre-debut. 

 

Seungcheol had some comment about nostalgia ready when he opened the door but what he saw as he stepped into the studio made him hold his tongue. 

 

Inside Jihoon was still placed in his computer chair, only he currently had his head rested on the desk, sound asleep. As Seungcheol stepped closer he realized that Jihoon was wearing the hoodie that Seungcheol had left behind and Seungcheol was fairly sure that his heart was going to beat right out off his chest at the sight. 

 

Seungcheol neared the sleeping figure slowly, as if a bubble might break any moment, taking this small sleeping boy away from him and replacing him with a tired and ticked off one instead. Seungcheol was glad that he’d managed to fall asleep, but still, just a bit confused over the circumstances.

 

Looking at the computer Seungcheol could see a multitude of tabs open. He didn’t know if Jihoon had been looking around files for inspiration, or if he’d just plain given up to listen to music instead. But looking at the boy now, all soft snores and slow breaths, Seungcheol didn’t really care.

 

Normally Jihoon had a serious aura around him, but right now he looked so small and so unguarded that Seungcheol could feel his chest swelling with endearment. He put the Brownie and cup down on the desk. _This_ _was the kid I’ve been looking out for_ , he thought to himself. 

 

He turned the music off and put the computer into sleep mode -not even Seungcheol dared to turn that thing off without consulting Jihoon- before bending down to Jihoon’s level. A crease had formed between his eyebrows and Seungcheol wondered what he was dreaming about. Carefully, he rubbed small circles in Jihoon’s forehead with his left thumb, and gradually Jihoon’s face seemed to relax. Seungcheol thought he looked best that way. 

 

For a brief moment Seungcheol considered waking him up, but when he saw Jihoon snuggling deeper into his shirt Seungcheol realized that he definitely didn’t have the heart to do it. At the same time he couldn’t just leave him like this. He had to get him to bed one way or another. 

 

Carefully Seungcheol lifted Jihoon’s shoulders up, so that he was leaning back on his chair instead of laying on the table, and from there he managed to scoop him up into his arms. Jihoon stirred a bit at first, but seemed to settle into Seungcheol’s arms.

 

Seungcheol made his way out of the studio and up the stairs again. It was a bit of a hassle with the added extra weight, but he was not about to wake Jihoon up halfway to their destination. He could feel Jihoon nuzzling into his chest and briefly Seungcheol wondered if he’ll ever get to experience conscious Jihoon this affectionate. 

 

Jihoon was sleeping calmly in his arms, despite the shaky journey. As Seungcheol paused briefly in the hall of their dorm, still tired from conquering the long staircase, he could feel Jihoon’s soft breaths against his chest. 

 

Seungcheol had always liked Jihoon’s pastel colored hairstyles, even if Jihoon himself thought them to be a bit of a pain, but seeing him with the brown hair he was currently sporting made him look younger. It reminded Seungcheol of their trainee days, when Jihoon always used to fall asleep on his shoulder. Although he had matured a lot since then he still looked the same sleeping.

 

Seungcheol noticed a loose strand of hair that had broken off of Jihoon’s damaged hair and made its way onto his cheek. Seungcheol kind of wanted to brush it off, but he didn’t want to risk dropping Jihoon by attempting to hold him with anything less than both of his arms. So instead he just lightly blew onto Jihoon’s face, successfully eliminating the enemy strand of hair, while also blessing him with a quite frankly adorable crinkly face, made by yours truly Lee Jihoon. 

 

“I thought we agreed on no monkey business in the dorm?”

 

“ _ Shit- _ ” Seungcheol almost dropped Jihoon in surprise at the mystery voice. Looking up he found Soonyoung standing a couple steps ahead, leaned against the wall, with a cup in his hand and a grin on his face. “Shit, Soonyoung. What are you doing up?” It had already been late when Seungcheol came back from his run, so by now Seungcheol didn’t even want to know what time it was.

 

“Oh you know,” Soonyoung began, gaze unmoving, “Seungkwan dared me to drink seven Red Bulls before bed so now I’m just trying to wash out all the toxins with this tea.” Seungcheol noticed a slight tremor in Soonyoung’s hand. “This is my fourth cup and I don’t know how well it’s working.” 

 

Seungcheol sighed both externally and internally. People always joked about him being the dad of Seventeen but in moments like these he truly felt like one. Seungcheol contemplated on lecturing his member about the dangers of peer pressure, but decided that it could wait for when he wasn’t carrying around a sleeping 20 year old in the middle of the night. 

 

“I’m okay though,” Soonyoung continued. Seemingly cheery but still shaking a bit. “You two just continue with whatever you’re doing.” He put a finger up to his lips. “I won’t tell.” 

 

“Wait, no-” Seungcheol felt his ears heat up a bit at whatever Soonyoung was insinuating. “Jihoon fell asleep in the studio, I’m just carrying him to bed, okay?” At this, Soonyoung seemed to finally register the fact that Jihoon was actually asleep, and quickly came rushing up to him.

 

“Oh my god.” Soonyoung bent down, only inches from Jihoon’s face. “ _ He looks so soft and tiny. _ ” 

 

“Careful, you’ll wake him up.” They were both whispering at this point. Seungcheol took a small step back to distance himself from Soonyoung’s plate-sized eyes. “I’ve gotten all this way, I don’t want to mess it up by waking him up meters away from his bed.” 

 

Soonyoung just nodded and gave him a look, not unlike the one Jeonghan had given him before, and Seungcheol could feel himself sweating.

 

“I’m just going to go run a couple hundred laps down in the practice room. So you go put princess to sleep.” Soonyoung made his way past Seungcheol and now finally he could begin making his way to the bedrooms. 

 

“Oh, by the way-” Seungcheol halted his steps.  _ When will he reach this godforsaken bed. _ He turned back towards Soonyoung. “I think Mingyu crashed in  _ his- _ ” Soonyoung pointed towards Jihoon, “-bottom bunk again so you might want to consider putting him in the old manager room.” 

 

The old manager room was the only room without bunk beds. Before, just around their debut, two of their managers had stayed with them in that room, but they moved out a couple of months back when Pledis apparently decided that they were mature enough to live on their own (i.e. the managers said they couldn’t handle living in a dorm with 13 teenage(ish) boys.). Currently Seungcheol was supposed to be sleeping there with Chan, but the maknae often just crashed in Soonyoung or Hansol’s room instead.

 

Seungcheol had already contemplated putting Jihoon in Chan’s probably empty bed, but still he thanked Soonyoung before he left to go downstairs (only missing the handle once before opening the door).

 

Seungcheol made his way through the corridor, opening the door to his bedroom. Finally he’d made it. Chan’s bed was empty as expected, so after kicking the covers back with his foot, he slowly put Jihoon’s sleeping body down onto the mattress. 

 

He lingered there for a moment, hovering above Jihoon. He looked just as relaxed as he had down in the studio, lips slightly parted in sleep. Seungcheol carefully brushed the hair off his forehead, and he registered Jihoon leaning into his touch. 

 

Jihoon looked pale in the moonlight, of course he was always pale but now he looked almost blue. Seungcheol thought about all the hours that Jihoon spent pent up in that dark little studio, and made a note to take him out for a walk sometime. But right now all he wanted was for him to get a good night’s sleep for once. 

 

Seungcheol leaned forward and placed a gentle kiss on Jihoon’s forehead, lingering just a bit before quickly standing up to walk away, embarrassed by his own cringeworthy actions.  

 

“Seungcheol...” Seungcheol froze in place, embarrassment replaced by fear.  _ Shit. _ He thought. He turned around, expecting to meet a pair of sharp, judgemental, eyes, but he found the same sleeping boy as before.

 

Seungcheol inched closer to the bed again.  _ Is he.. Sleeptalking? _ Jihoon looked a bit restless now, squirming slightly. 

 

“Mm..” Seungcheol reached out to soothe the sleeping boy, thumb brushing against his cheek. As Seungcheol sat at the edge of the bed it didn’t take long for Jihoon to settle down, and Seungcheol began to move away once more, but as he did he felt a slight tugging on his shirt. 

 

Looking down he saw that Jihoon had grabbed a hold of it, and was right now holding it kind of like a blanket. Jihoon was lucky that something about him seemed to trigger Seungcheol’s endearment, because he was  _ so tired _ but he did not have the heart to pry himself away from the sleeping boy. So instead he just sighed as he climbed into bed with him, not caring about what kind of explanation he’d have to come up with in the morning. 

 

Once again he felt Jihoon’s soft breaths against his chest, as the boy moved in closer to probably unconsciously leech off of Seungcheol’s body heat. Seungcheol just accepted it, wrapping his arms around the smaller boy, and with his chin rested on Jihoon’s head he drifted off to sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I kinda wrote this in the middle of the night because I couldn't sleep (fitting I know) and it was just supposed to be a drabble, but I was convinced (threatened) by my dear friend to turn this into a multi-chapter fic, so to be continued i guess?


	2. Good Morning (?)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi guys, sorry it's been a while! I've had some issues with my computer so I haven't been able to write as much, but I decided to keep this going so here is chapter two at least!

The first thing that Jihoon registered was warmth. Usually Jihoon awoke pretty unceremoniously, like a jab in the chest pulling him away from sleep. This was often caused by his horrible, blaring, alarm clock, or by his own stress dreams, but this morning something felt different. For the first time in a long while, the way he woke up could be described as merely drifting into consciousness. In the way where you can feel the softness of your bed surround you even before you’ve opened your eyes, and boy was Jihoon’s bed soft. 

 

Jihoon didn’t particularly feel any desire to actually fully wake up, so he tried staying in that drifting state the best he could, but the more time went on the more prominent a whispering background noise became. 

 

“ _ You mean you found them like this?” _ A voice. Jihoon didn’t care, It could be a radio for all he knew. 

 

“ _ Yes, I swear! I went to get my beanie and they were in my bed.”   _ A second voice. 

 

_ “Crap, I didn’t think he’d actually go to bed with him.”  _ A third voice. Jihoon was starting to get bothered. 

 

“ _ You knew about this? And you didn’t tell me?” _

 

_ “Sorry Jeonghan, but I kind of just got back to being a normal functioning human being, okay? The past 12 hours have been weird for me.”   _ Something was swirling in Jihoon’s stomach by now, he’d been in such a good place just now but these voices were making it hard to stay there.

 

“ _ Whatever, I need these for the family album.”  _ It was when Jihoon heard an obnoxiously loud iphone shutter that he decided that he’d had enough. Letting go of sleep completely he pried his eyes open to find Jeonghan, Soonyoung, and Chan peering down at him. 

 

“What the-” He gave the trio a judgemental look while simultaneously attempting to prop himself up on his elbows. Only he couldn’t because something was weighing down his chest. He looked down to find a muscular arm laid over his torso. 

 

“Hey hey-  _ you’ll wake him up. _ ” Soonyoung near whispered, and it was then that Jihoon turned to find himself mere inches away from Choi Seungcheol’s sleeping face.

 

“What  **_the-?!_ ** ” Jihoon sat up so quick it woke Seungcheol up, scrambling.

 

“ _ Who- who- _ what’s happenin-??” It took Seungcheol a moment to assess the situation as well, but then he seemed to settle, a sheepish look on his face. “Oh.” 

 

“What do you mean ‘ _ oh _ ’? What’s going on??” 

 

“You guys were just being super adorable, that’s all.” Jeonghan was smiling as he put his phone in front of Jihoon’s nose. 

 

On it was a picture of Seungcheol and Jihoon, sleeping together, with limbs tangled and peaceful expressions on their faces.  _ Oh my god. _ He looked up at Soonyoung and Chan, Chan was avoiding eye contact and looking a bit awkward. This was not the image he wanted to present himself with.

 

“Give me that.” He forcefully pried the phone from Jeonghan’s hand.

 

“Hey! Hey! Don’t delete it!” Jeonghan was fighting for it, but Jihoon was not about to give up. After a bit of struggle and some uncool side-jabs (totally not from Jihoon’s side) the phone ended up falling onto the mattress and Seungcheol was quick to grab it. He looked at the picture, sheepish expression still present, and Jihoon just looked at him with eyebrows raised, daring him for answer. 

 

“You fell asleep.” Seungcheol blurted out, “so I put you to bed.” Jihoon remembers working in the studio, but he was still unsure as to how he ended up in this particular situation.

 

“And?” He prompted on.

 

“And-” now it was Seungcheol who was avoiding eye contact. “And you were asleep and you grabbed me and you didn’t want to let me go……” Seungcheol trailed off, voice barely audible at the final words, and Jihoon felt his ears heat up. He could hear Soonyoung mumbling something along the lines of “oh my god how is he so cute” but Jihoon was already out of bed, beelining for the door.

 

“Wait, Jihoon!” Slam. Jihoon’s cheeks were burning.  _ What the heck was that all about? _ He sighed as he made his way to the bathroom, which was of course already occupied.

 

_ Why do these kinds of things always happen with these people? _ He thought. Jihoon liked his group, but sometimes dorm life was a little too close to a sitcom for his liking. 

 

He leaned back against the wall as he waited for the door to unlock, and finally Jun stepped out of the room.

 

He stopped to eye Jihoon and for a paranoid moment he wondered if Jun had seen him sleeping as well. But of course that couldn't be it, right? 

 

They stared at each other in silence for a while, before Jun opened up his mouth to deliver a final, devastating, blow.

 

“Nice shirt.” 

 

Jihoon looked down at the sweatshirt that definitely wasn't his, and then up at Jun’s grin. He felt his face go redder.  _ This wasn’t happening _ . At a loss for words Jihoon just pushed past Jun to lock himself into the solitude of the dorm bathroom.

 

“Fuck me.” Jihoon leaned back against the door, shutting his eyes tight.  _ Why the heck was he still in this? _ He went up to the mirror to get a look of himself, with tousled hair and the oversized hoodie. He looked like a mess and he felt like one. He made a final face at himself in the mirror before ripping the shirt off and throwing it to the floor.

 

It was so stupid, really. Jihoon had been cold and lazy and maybe a little bit lonely, and the shirt had been lying there on the floor, very much in the way since Seungcheol apparently had no respect for Jihoon’s studio. He was just supposed to have it on as he finished up, but he just  _ had _ to fall asleep and Seungcheol just  _ had  _ to come find him. Since apparently he’d been appointed as Jihoon’s personal babysitter.

 

Jihoon just straight up mentally closed that door. He could not get into Seungcheol right now, anytime he tried to understand that man’s behaviour it just gave him a headache, which was the last thing Jihoon needed right now seeing as he was too busy wallowing in shame. He had no idea how he would explain the shirt to Seungcheol and he was still very much unsure about the circumstances around last night. 

 

Jihoon decided that he might as well take a shower, since he’d locked himself into the bathroom already and all that, so he put the temperature to scalding and stripped to get in. He heard a voice strangely resembling Seungcheol’s in his head tell him that too much hot water was bad for your skin, but he just shook it off and stepped into the stream anyway. Jihoon remembered all the cold showers that he had to take when his hair was still pastel colored -the stylist-noonas had been particularly strict about that- and it made him appreciate the hot water a little more.

 

When he got out of the bathroom he was met with a restless looking Seungcheol standing in the hallway outside. Jihoon stopped dead in his tracks and just looked at the taller boy. Seungcheol looked just as awkward as Jihoon felt, rubbing his neck in the way that he always did when he was uncomfortable. 

 

“Hey listen, about last night-” Seungcheol began, sounding very sincere and Jihoon was struck by the serious atmosphere. Seungcheol looked to the side and over his shoulder Jihoon could spot Jeonghan and Jun standing a little bit further down the hallway looking at them, both smiling very innocently. They made eye-contact, and just as Seungcheol made to speak again they both made a very obnoxious air-heart and sent it their way. 

 

Jihoon didn’t know if he was frustrated, or embarrassed, or both, but he definitely didn’t have time for this, so he just walked past Seungcheol and made a mental note to give Jun and Jeonghan the shittiest parts for their next comeback. He couldn’t help but feel a little bad about giving Seungcheol the cold shoulder, but fuck, he wasn’t the one making it weird. 

 

Jihoon didn’t even bother to give Seungcheol his hoodie back, it was the gray one with the fake blue college logo. Jihoon knew that Seungcheol liked it but right now he didn’t care. He just put it in one the several piles of clothing in the room he currently shared with Mingyu,  _ Jeonghan _ , and Joshua. Joshua was the only one who actually tried to keep their room in some sort of order, but seeing as the rest of his roommates didn’t give two craps he usually had to give up. 

 

Luckily for Jihoon, they only had a couple of hours of dance practice scheduled for that day, which was only for a special stage that they were doing in a couple of weeks, so it wasn’t anything huge. Jihoon was able to get through the entire thing without any awkward encounters, and actually did quite well, despite his scattered mind. Usually after these kinds of practices Jihoon would be left with little stamina, but despite everything he was objectively feeling pretty good today. Well-rested was the first words to come to mind when he thought about it, but then he cringed at the particular phrase.

 

After wrapping up he saw Seungcheol talking with Soonyoung to the side, all hushed voices and serious eyes, so he took his chance to slip out before he was noticed. With no more schedules for the day, Jihoon could finally go to his studio. As he got there and closed the door he let out a breath he didn’t know he’d been holding. This was good, now he was in his safe-zone.

 

Seventeen’s dorm was usually a mess. The living room was littered with each member's personal belongings and gifts from fans, the fridge was filled with pretty much nothing but leftover take-out, and pretty much wherever you went you were bound to be in the same room as at least two members. So needless to say you didn’t get much personal space in there. But the studio was different. The studio was Jihoon’s and only Jihoon’s, a little bubble where he could just exist as he was without having to worry about his surroundings.

 

Settling into work mode, Jihoon cracked his knuckles and sat down by the computer. He put it out of sleep mode and found all his ridiculous amount of tags just where he left them and started closing the old sound files that he had opened last night. He had been so tired of listening to those demos that he’d started listening to their old mixtapes instead, just to cleanse his ears. But he must’ve fallen asleep to one of the slower songs. 

 

After cleaning up his desktop Jihoon finally prepared himself to listen to the particular demo that he’d been ripping his hair out over yesterday. It was for a slow song, Jihoon always had the hardest time finishing those. They were easy to write, sure, but adding the final finesse was always hard because you heard everything so much clearer and more intimate than with the more fun uptempo songs.

 

Surprisingly, as Jihoon listened to the instrumental track, something seemed to click. He could hear a faint synth melody in the back of his head, and desperate not to lose it he tried finding it on his MIDI-keyboard. Jihoon set to polish the song with all he had and he could almost hear the gears unlodging in his mind.

 

He worked for hours before hitting his first wall, which was a feature really. It wasn’t until he took of his headphones to spin around in his chair that he registered that he was actually kind of (really) hungry. He let out a silent laugh, so typical of him.  

 

As he stopped his chair he saw a cup standing a bit to the side on his desk. Next to it was a napkin with something on it. Jihoon rolled closer to examine it and saw that it was actually a brownie. He furrowed his brow, this definitely wasn’t here last night. But it only took one whiff of the cup’s content to clear Jihoon’s confusion. It was green tea, granted it was cold but still tea nonetheless. The only one who made him that was Seungcheol. Jihoon didn’t even like tea that much but Seungcheol refused to get him coffee. 

 

Jihoon realized that Seungcheol must’ve come down with this last night, when he was sleeping, and it almost made Jihoon feel kind of bad for avoiding him. It wasn’t like Jihoon was angry at him or anything, honestly. Awkward would be the word that best summed up his feelings right now. Awkward because of how he’d apparently behaved last night, awkward because of the members incessant teasing, awkward because he didn’t get why Seungcheol couldn’t just have woken him up? 

 

Jihoon liked to think that after all these years together, he knew Seungcheol, but it almost felt like the more time went on the less he understood him. Jihoon remembered how they were around debut. Jihoon got that. Jihoon got how Seungcheol would distance himself whenever Jihoon was feeling tense. He got how Seungcheol would talk back whenever Jihoon lashed out. It wasn’t nice back then, but at least he felt like he understood Seungcheol.

 

Now Jihoon had no clue anymore. Seungcheol now who just took Jihoon’s temper fits. Seungcheol who constantly checked up on him and made sure that he was alright. Seungcheol who apparently would carry Jihoon up four flights of stairs and crawl into bed with him because he didn’t want to wake him up. 

 

Jihoon rubbed at his eyes. This was exactly the kinds of things that he wasn’t supposed to be thinking about. Mental doors closed, he reminded himself. He just needed to put this behind him and start acting like he usually did. With a sigh he took a bite of the now very crusty brownie and went back to work. 

 

After working some more he glanced at the desktop clock, 23:48, that meant that Seungcheol should be back from his run any moment now. It had become a part of their nightly routine for Seungcheol to come by and bother him, so Jihoon knew roughly around what time he would make his entrance.  _ It’ll be good _ , he thought,  _ we can just ignore this awkward morning and move on like it never happened. _

 

Only minutes and minutes went by and no-one showed. Jihoon kept shifting between his work and the clock and the later it became the harder it was for him to concentrate. Of course it didn’t really matter. He was sure that this wasn’t the first time Seungcheol had skipped coming by. He couldn’t remember any specific occasion but come on, he must’ve gone straight to bed some time, or gotten distracted by a text or something. It was no big deal. Really.

 

He tried focusing on his computer screen instead but it was useless, he’d lost his flow. Jihoon threw his headphones on the desk and rose up in frustration. After eyeing his equipment for a while he decided to call it quits, and grabbed the old cup of tea and left. 

 

When he reached the dorm it was quiet. The lights were off and it seemed like no one was up.  _ Just as I thought _ , Jihoon walked up to his own bedroom door,  _ he fell asleep.  _ As Jihoon stood with his hand on the doorknob he looked down the hallway at the very furthest door. 

 

_ But it didn’t hurt to be sure. _

 

Tiptoeing down the hall Jihoon neared Seungcheol and Chan’s door. When he opened it the hinges creaked and for a panicked moment he was sure that he’d woken them up. But no, looking in he found Seungcheol in his bed just as he’d expected. He was sleeping soundly, hugging his duvet and looking quite peaceful. 

 

Jihoon shook his head slightly, why did he even feel the need to go check? Any sane person would be asleep by now. 

 

“Thinking about going to bed?”

 

“ **_FUCK-_ ** _ ”  _ Jihoon startled so hard he had to grab a hold of the doorframe. He looked back to find Soonyoung standing right behind him.

 

“Honestly, you two are really easily frightened.”

 

“What the fuck Soonyoung??”

 

“Hey, I didn’t sneak up on you or anything. I just walked up to you like a normal person, okay?”

 

“It’s the middle of the night, is there any difference?” Jihoon sighed, one of these days he was going to suffer a heart attack at the hands of his members.

 

“So you gonna join him or what?” Soonyoung glanced over his head.

 

“Haha, very funny,” Jihoon deadpanned. “I’m just-” Jihoon paused. Not sure himself what exactly he was doing here. “-checking up on him?” Soonyoung gave him a raised eyebrow.

“Checking up on him?” Jihoon didn’t like the way Soonyoung was looking at him, it was quite obvious that he was fighting a smile.

 

“I’ve been working in the studio and I wasn’t sure if he was coming or not.” Jihoon assumed that Soonyoung knew about Seungcheol’s visits, him being a huge snoop and all that. “So I was just gonna go see if he’d gone to sleep.” 

 

Soonyoung’s amusement seemed to fade at that, dropping his poorly hidden smile for a furrowed brow instead. 

 

“He didn’t show?” 

 

“No?” He gave Soonyoung a sceptical look. “Is that bad?” 

 

“No no, not at all.” Soonyoung trailed off. Jihoon just looked at him. “Hey, let’s go sleep.” Soonyoung said at last, patting Jihoon on the back once before heading for his room.

 

Jihoon looked back at Seungcheol one final time before closing the door. He thought about Seungcheol and Soonyoung talking back during practice. He officially didn’t understand either of them. 

 

As Jihoon settled into his bottom bunk he felt wide-awake. He stared up at Mingyu’s arm, which was hanging unceremoniously in the air above him, slung over the edge of the bed. His body felt sluggish but his head was going at a hundred miles per hour. First he was thinking about what Soonyoung said, then he was thinking about what Seungcheol was thinking about, and then all of a sudden arrangements for different songs were popping up in his head. Jihoon rubbed his eyes with the heels of his hands. This looked to be a normal night for Lee Jihoon, he thought. 

 

After about an hour of tossing and turning he gave up. If he was going to pull an all-nighter he might as well put it to use. Jihoon made sure not to bump into Mingyu’s arm as he got up, and then he crept out the room to his studio. 

 

He sat down to work but really, his thoughts were elsewhere. The flow he’d had going this afternoon seemed to have vanished and it frustrated Jihoon to no end. His conversation with Soonyoung kept popping up in his head and eventually it struck Jihoon that considering how crappy he’d been acting all day, maybe Seungcheol just didn’t want to see him. 

 

Even Seungcheol’s patience had to grow thin eventually, Jihoon thought. I made him feel kind of bad since, really, Seungcheol hadn’t done anything  _ wrong _ per se. 

 

Jihoon sat half-working half-mulling until about 4AM, when he realized he’d missed a crucial component to this work session.

 

Step one for a successful all-nighter was caffeine. A buttload of caffeine. As a thoroughly experienced night worker that was something Jihoon knew for sure. So he crept up to the kitchen to get his usual gigantic mug and proceeded to fill it with an ungodly amount of instant coffee powder. This stuff was damn near undrinkable and was sure to probably give Jihoon a heart attack one of these days, but shit if it didn’t do the trick. 

 

As he was waiting for the water to boil Jihoon wondered if he should grab something to eat as well, since he’d pretty much had only breakfast and a crusty brownie in the past 24 hours. Opening the fridge he found the same amount of disappointing take-out as usual. He didn’t really find anything especially appetizing, most of the boxes looked kind of old, and at the very back he found a plastic container containing something that probably used to be kimbap, with a note signed Hansol that just read “for science”. 

 

Jihoon finally decided that Mingyu probably wouldn’t miss his leftover naengmyeon that much and took it and his new cup of coffee with him to go. 

 

If Jihoon hadn’t been preoccupied with trying to hit the lightswitch with his pinky as he exited the kitchen, whilst balancing a pair of chopsticks on top of his take-out box and also holding a full cup of scalding coffee, he would’ve probably noticed the figure coming towards him from the dark hallway. But sadly, Jihoon did not, and that error resulted in some bad cussing, a take-out container on the kitchen floor, and scalding hot coffee all over Seungcheol’s shirt. 

 

“ _ Shit- Sorry- _ Are you okay?” Jihoon put the empty cup on the counter and pulled Seungcheol, who was hissing and holding his shirt away from his chest, towards the sink.

 

“Yeah yeah, It’s just you know, kind of scalding.” Seungcheol was shaking his shirt, making coffee drip down on the floor. As Jihoon ran one of the kitchen towels under the tap he winced at the redness he could catch under Seungcheol’s clothes.

 

“Wait- let me just-” Turning towards Seungcheol he awkwardly tried to roll his drenched shirt up, Seungcheol kindly helped by taking it off completely. Underneath Seungcheol’s skin was red in patches. Tentatively he pressed the wet towel onto Seungcheol’s sternum. 

 

He heard Seungcheol take in a sharp breath but eventually his shoulders seemed to loosen up. 

 

“Sorry. Again.” Jihoon tried, not looking up to meet Seungcheol’s eyes, instead focusing on his torso.

 

“It’s okay, I just didn’t expect to get attacked by coffee at this hour.” Jihoon couldn’t help cracking a small smile.

 

“You want me to come back later then?” 

 

“I’d rather you not.” Seungcheol sighed and as Jihoon looked up he saw his slight smile be replaced by tired eyes. “What are you doing up anyways?” 

 

“I -uh- couldn’t sleep.”  _ It’s kind of your fault to be honest. _ “Had a lot to think about.”  Seungcheol observed him for a bit.

 

“How are the demos doing?” 

 

“Good, actually.”  _ except not right now of course. _ “I’m just stuck in work mode I guess.”

 

“That’s good.”

 

“Yeah.”

 

They stood there in silence for a while, Jihoon patiently patting at Seungcheol’s scorned chest. Jihoon could feel Seungcheol staring at him.

 

“Are you mad at me?” Jihoon asked at last, daring to look Seungcheol in the eye. 

 

“What?” Seungcheol looked a bit taken aback. “Why would I be?”

 

“I just figured, since I’ve pretty much been giving you the cold shoulder all day, for no reason really. I totally get why you would be.” Jihoon put the towel under the tap again, mostly to have something else to focus on, but Seungcheol took it out of his hands.

 

“I’m not mad at you Jihoon.” Came Seungcheol’s reassuring voice. “To be fair, I thought you were mad at  _ me. _ ” Jihoon regarded him quietly.

 

“Is that why you didn’t show up?” 

 

“I thought you didn’t want to see me, given how you’d been all day.” Seungcheol took the towel and pressed it to his chest once more, wincing slightly. “Did you want me to come?” 

 

“Yeah I guess, I mean I don’t know, sorry. I guess I just wanted things to go back to normal.” Jihoon paused and for a moment all that could be heard was the faint hum of the refrigerator. “I found the brownie so you know, thanks. And thanks for everything else too I guess.” Jihoon didn’t really feel as sincere as he wished he could be, but he was bad with touchy-feely stuff. 

 

“It’s nothing.” Despite everything Seungcheol was back to smiling that peaceful smile of his.

 

“You’re too nice to me you know.” It was meant as a joke but somehow it felt like the most honest thing Jihoon’s said all day.

 

Seungcheol just smiled and shook his head at Jihoon.

 

“Let’s clean this mess up, alright?”

 

Silently they went about picking up the naengmyeon from the floor and wiping the coffee off the counter. After picking up the last piece from the floor Jihoon let out a yawn as he rose, when he turned he caught Seungcheol staring at him. Jihoon regarded him back but Seungcheol didn’t look away. 

 

“You know I hate seeing you like this.” He just said.

 

“Like what?”

 

“Tired.” Seungcheol sighed. “Working day and night, it’s not good for you.” Jihoon laughed.

 

“It’s kind of what I do Seungcheol, working is what gets things done.” He waved him off, making his way out off the kitchen.

 

“I’m serious Jihoon.” Seungcheol grabbed his arm, turning him around. “Don’t wear yourself out.” 

 

Jihoon looked up at Seungcheol’s concerned eyes, then down. Of course he knew where Seungcheol was coming from, but at the same time he knew that Seungcheol couldn’t fully understand Jihoon’s responsibilities towards the band. But he didn’t have the energy to argue about it, they’ve done it too many times before. 

 

Instead Jihoon just smiled up at Seungcheol, unable to swear to anything as he was right now. 

 

“You should get some sleep Seungcheol.” He squeezed the hand currently on his arm, and eventually Seungcheol gave up and made his way to leave, but not before telling Jihoon in his best leader voice that that went for Jihoon as well.

 

He stood watching Seungcheol’s retreating figure for a bit, but then he went to fill up a new cup of coffee.

  
Time to get back to work.


	3. Jihoon Needs a Break

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi guys!! It's the world's slowest author here!! I'm super sorry this has taken so long, I've been working like a maniac so I guess I've been a bit out of the loop haha. But anyways, I hope you'll enjoy this chapter at least. I have to admit it's a bit hard to write since I started this as a one-shot, but hopefully I think I've picked some sort of a direction as to where I want this thing to go haha.

_ Hey ladieeeeeeesssssss~~~~~~~ _

 

Jihoon grumbled at the sound of his obnoxious alarm. Sometimes he really regretted letting Seungkwan know his phone-password. 

 

Slowly he rose from where he’d been sprawled out over his desk, his keyboard was apparently as good a pillow as any. He stretched his back and neck, sighing while doing so. It wasn’t exactly the first time he’d ended up in this position, and Jihoon felt just as unrested and unrefreshed as usual. 

 

He dragged his hands over his face. His eyes felt swollen with sleep and his left cheek was numb. After shaking off sleep once more he looked at his phone properly.

 

06:32. Alright, that wasn’t so bad. Jihoon had been a little scared that he might’ve slept in, but this was ok, now if only he’d gotten more than about an hour of sleep everything would be perfect. 

 

He knew that they were supposed to have another morning dance-practice in about 20 minutes, and Jihoon was already wearing his sweatpants and such. So instead of running by the dorm he just took a few extra moments to stretch and to come back to life before heading for the practice room.

 

Jihoon went by to make a new cup of coffee in the common kitchen first though. He had a feeling that this day would be very caffeine filled, although what days weren’t in his case? 

 

As he stood sloshing the dark liquid in his cup, he thought of Seungcheol’s scorned torso. He made a face at his distorted reflection. He really hoped it hadn’t left too much of a mark. 

 

He thought of the empty words he’d spoken to Seungcheol last night and let out a silent laugh. Well, at least he  _ had _ gotten some sleep. Seungcheol never specified where it had to be done.

 

“Hey, I saw your bed was empty again. Did you bunk with- woah.” Jihoon looked up to find Jeonghan entering the doorway, with Jun closely behind. 

 

“What?” The two just looked at him, with slightly amused faces. “What? Are you guys still caught up on yesterday because-” 

 

“It’s like he’s trying to tell us something.” Jun stepped closer to Jihoon, squinting slightly. 

 

“Sorry? What the fuck are you on about?”

 

“I think you’ll see when we get to the practice room.” Jeonghan simply said with a laugh before ushering them off to said place.

 

When they entered the mirror-covered room Jihoon could see what they’d been talking about.

 

His face was covered in keyboard imprints, starting from his forehead and down over his left cheek. Jihoon just dragged his hand across his face and let out a frustrated groan. He looked totally stupid.

 

“I’m thinking it’s a cry for help.” Jeonghan came up behind him. “See, you can see H and E there by his temple.”

 

“Really? I’m seeing something with bed.” Jun added, dragging a finger over a B-button on Jihoon’s cheek. “I heard his keyboard isn’t too happy with the pressure of being his sleeping station.” 

 

“Oh- _ in that case _ ,” Jeonghan began, glancing over at the door where members were steadily trickling in. “I think I know someone who’d be more than happy to take on the job.”

 

“I don’t know about you guys but I’m pretty sure that somewhere here it says ‘back the fuck off’” Jihoon was quick to snap. Finger pointing at random imprints for emphasis “Of course, it could be subtext.” He gave a sarcastic smile, and Jeonghan just laughed as they walked away. 

 

Jihoon huffed but he wasn’t exactly mad. He was used to this kind of teasing attitude from them, it was a pretty normal part of how they communicated.

 

“I see you got your nights sleep.” Jihoon looked up to find Seungcheol standing behind him, looking at him in the mirror with a slight smile.

 

“Oh, don’t start you too.” Jihoon replied, unamused.

 

“Wait- wait- let me see.” Seungcheol turned him around and gripped a hold of his cheeks, making the room spin slightly for Jihoon. Probably because of his lack of sleep, he thought. “Woah you must’ve slept  _ hard. _ ” He dragged a thumb over an imprint under Jihoon’s eye. “I can make out like ten buttons man.” 

 

“Hey-  _ enough. _ ” Jihoon pushed him away half-heartedly. Voice a bit softer than he intended. 

 

“Sorry, but I mean, at least you  _ got  _ some sleep I guess. But maybe you should consider a more suitable location” 

 

“What, like your bed?” Jihoon shot back almost automatically. Mission ignore recent events and go back to normal currently failing. He let out a small laugh, trying for light humor, but Seungcheol didn’t quite return it.

 

His cocky expression had disappeared, he coughed slightly as if he had something stuck in his throat. If Jihoon looked he could make out a slightly deeper shade of pink than usual covering his ears. Jihoon himself could feel a light heat spreading across his face, if only for the sheer awkwardness of the situation.

 

They stood in silence for a bit, until Seungcheol finally spoke up.

 

“I mean, if you think it would help...” Seungcheol had his eyes stuck to the wall across the room. It sounded as if he was trying for casual but failing miserably. Jihoon just stood there with his eyebrows shoot up. 

 

“You’re kidding, right?” Jihoon swore he would never be able to figure Seungcheol out.

 

Seungcheol just shrugged and made a face.

 

“I mean if it means you’ll stop pulling all-nighters and actually get some sleep I’m not going to be against it..” 

 

“Wait, What? No, are you being serious-?” 

 

“Kids! I need a few words first!” Hyelim-noona spoke with her usual authority as she entered the practice room, making members gather around her.

 

“You.” He pointed at Seungcheol as they began walking. “No. We’re not gonna- I’m not gonna start-” He let out a huff, at a loss for what to say.  “We’ll talk about this later.” He simply finished before getting in line. 

 

Honestly, his leader was the biggest weirdo. Sometimes Jihoon found it hard to believe the extent to which he’d be considerate of his members. Of course he wasn’t a saint or anything like that but really, why did he go around worrying about this kind of stuff?

 

Hyelim-noona spoke about what to keep in mind for the special stage and such, but really, it was pretty standard, a quick cover-number, but since Seventeen was known for always being on point with their choreo it didn’t hurt to be thorough with practice. 

 

Jihoon could feel how much his body didn’t want to be here up dancing right now, but his head was buzzing from the coffee he’d just downed, so for now it didn’t matter. 

 

After practice was done the group started splitting up for individual training. Some had vocal training, others went to do some unsupervised individual dancing, Jihoon of course had only one thing at the top of his list. Producing. 

 

He thought about the rollercoaster that had been yesterday’s work day, first his amazing flow and then later that absolute mess of a session that was last night. After he and Seungcheol had talked he had regained his focus somewhat, but his thoughts had still lingered with him, much to Jihoon’s dismay. Now he was absolutely not in the mood for working, but there wasn’t much he could do about it. 

 

He barely had time to let out a sigh after exiting the practice room before he was approached by a staff member. 

 

“Jihoon, a word.” It was Youngsoo, one of the seniors of the company, he was often one of the people who acted as supervising producer for Jihoon, or so to speak. In other words, one of the names on the email list that he usually sends his demos to. 

 

“How is it going for you?” He began, words flat. He wasn’t exactly the coddling type. “It’s been three days since you last sent anything and you haven’t had much schedule going on. Do you have anything for us yet?” Jihoon gulped. Right, they were running a tight schedule as usual, and Jihoon had shit to show him.

 

“Yeah. Yeah, I’ve fixed one song.” He met Youngsoo’s strong gaze. “Almost.” The ballad was almost there, he’d almost fixed it all yesterday.

 

“Almost?” Youngsoo’s eyes didn’t break away.

 

“Yeah. But I’m real close!” He was quick to add. “Just give me a little more time.” 

 

“We  _ are. _ But remember, this whole self-producing setup only works if you can actually _ produce. _ We’ve got deadline’s of our own to meet so we can’t wait forever for you. Understood?” 

 

“Yes, sir.” Jihoon just answered, teeth clenched. He watched the older man’s retreating figure in silence. Now he  _ really  _ had his work cut out for him.

 

Well back in the studio he opened up his demo tracks once more.  _ Ok, no time for messing around now,  _ he reminded himself. This was his job, this was what he did. Time to stop being so distracted. 

 

Listening to the track he felt absolutely nothing, no spark, no inspiration, he wasn’t moved in the slightest. Still, he tried adjusting it. He added instruments, took them away, altered bass-lines, and even tried changing the tempo. 

 

Purely on routine he tried working with the song, tricks he’d tried uncountable times, that he barely needed to think to do, and sure it might’ve altered the sound and feel a bit. But as Jihoon listened through it, after a couple of hours of tweaking, only one feeling rushed over him. 

 

It sounded like shit. 

 

“God fucking shit.” he put his forehead on the desk. 

 

“Watch your profanity.” Soonyoung called out as he walked through the door. Jihoon just looked back at him.

 

“As if I haven’t heard you say stuff a thousand times worse every time you stub your toe.” Soonyoung was holding a take-out bag and a paper mug in his hands. He put it down on the desk by Jihoon’s keyboard. 

 

“I got put on dinner duty so here you go.” He made a sweeping motion over the food as if to say “voilá”. 

 

“Dinner duty? What time is it?” Jihoon glanced at the clock on the corner of his computer screen. “20.34? What the fuck??” He threw his head back in frustration.  _ How was it this late already?? _

 

“Hey, you doing alright?” Soonyoung furrowed his brows at him.

 

“No, I’m doing shitty. I’m already behind schedule and now I’ve wasted an entire day doing  _ nothing! _ ” 

 

“What, but you’ve been sitting here all day! Aren’t you getting anywhere?”

 

“No, everything sounds like absolute shit.” Jihoon rubbed at his eyes. “And I was doing so well yesterday,” he added, almost to himself. He felt the pressure of Soonyoung leaning his elbows on the back of his chair. 

 

“Well, what’s different about today?” Soonyoung asked after a moment’s silence. 

 

“What?” Jihoon arched his neck back to look up at him. 

 

“Obviously something is different about today if you’re not getting anything done.” He said very matter of factly. 

 

“There’s nothing.” Jihoon sighted. Soonyoung refused to look away. “No really, I made up with Seungcheol, so it’s not that. And I haven’t done anything special today.” Soonyoung kept looking. Jihoon sat in silence for awhile, eyes shifting down to his computer screen.

“I guess,” he began, voice low. “That I… slept.. better yesterday……?” He was barely muttering the last words. 

 

“And you slept better yesterday because..?” Soonyoung pressed on. Jihoon had a feeling where he was going with this.

 

“I slept better yesterday because I got more than two hours of consecutive sleep.” He replied, refusing to go any further.

 

“And you got more than two hours of sleep because…?” Soonyoung was not taking any hints whatsoever. Which wasn’t anything out of the ordinary. 

 

“Because I fucking crashed, that’s why.” 

 

“Didn’t you crash today as well?”

 

“Yeah but I crashed on a fucking keyboard today, which isn’t the nicest place to sleep mind you.” Jihoon snapped. “But I swear to god if you suggest I go sleep with Seungcheol, don’t. Because it’s not going to happen.” 

 

“Why not?” Soonyoung simply asked, God Jihoon hated how matter of factly he was about this whole thing.

 

“Because I’m a grown man and because it’s  _ Seungcheol. _ ” He wasn’t five, he could manage himself.

 

“What, do you think he’d have a problem with it? Because I don’t. Dude would probably jump off a cliff if you asked him to.” 

 

“Don’t be stupid and don’t say that. I know he wouldn’t care, he told me that. But that’s not the point.” He tried to reach for his mouse but Soonyoung spun his chair around, so that he was facing him instead.

 

“He told you what?” Soonyoung asked, volume slightly higher than before.

 

“He kinda offered me the same fucking thing this morning, but it’s not happening.”

 

“But _ why _ ?”

 

“Because  _ I say so. _ ” Jihoon spun his chair around to his computer, only to be spun right back again.

 

“Ok, but get this-” Soonyoung was looking at him with enthusiastic eyes.

 

“We’re not doing this.”

 

“Ok, so you’re usually walking around feeling pretty shitty because you’re like  _ never _ sleeping-”

 

“Please stop.”

 

“And it’s usually because you’re working like a maniac, or because you’re tearing yourself up for  _ not  _ working like a maniac. So the few times you do get some rest it’s never really long or comfortable and then you’re feeling even  _ shittier _ -”

 

“ _ Please stop talking. _ ”

 

“ **_BUT-_ ** ” Jihoon just put his head in his hands. “Yesterday you got to sleep in an actual bed for an actual complete night and then you were working even better than usual.” 

 

“And your point is..?” He looked up at his bandmate, who stared back intently.

 

“My point is,” Soonyoung began, “that everyone has their own way of staying productive, and maybe yours is cuddles?” Soonyoung was cracking up just a little at the end, which lit a spark in Jihoon.

 

“Yah!” He hit his friend over the head lightly.

 

“Sorry! Sorry! I’m serious, I swear!” Soonyoung was laughing as Jihoon started chasing him out of the room.

 

“Go! I have to eat and not listen to your idiocy!” 

 

“Fine, but think about it!” Soonyoung shouted as he jogged down the hall. “I mean it!” 

 

Jihoon closed the door to the studio again, shaking his head slightly at the pure weirdness of his bandmate.

 

But honestly. Cuddles? As if that was what was going to decide Jihoon’s producing career. He could work perfectly fine on his own, he mused as he took a bite of his dinner. Besides, it wasn’t as if Seungcheol was the deciding factor in if he got any sleep or not. Jihoon was pretty sure it had more to do with his bed than anything. It wasn’t as if Seungcheol made him feel _ calm _ and  _ secure _ or some shit like that. He scoffed, choking a bit on the food in his mouth. 

 

No. He was doing perfectly fine on his own. He looked back at his work, at least he thought so. As long as he could work a little more without distractions he’d be fine. 

  
  
  
  


Midnight came sooner than Jihoon had hoped. Of course it wasn’t as if Jihoon cared to keep track of the time, it was only when he heard Seungcheol crack open the studio door that he realized what time it was.

 

“Hey.” Seungcheol entered the room, a bit more timid than usual, walking up to Jihoon’s chair slowly. Jihoon turned to look at him, and for a moment he couldn’t open his mouth. Seungcheol was wearing his sweats as usual, but with a different hoodie of course, since Jihoon had yet to return the other one. Flashes of his and Soonyoung’s conversation appeared in his head. “You okay?” He realized that he’d been staring.

 

“Yeah, yeah.” He shook off whatever had struck him and turned back around towards his computer. “It’s nothing.” 

 

Seungcheol remained silent for a bit.

 

“How are you doing?”

 

“Great.  _ Perfect.  _ No problem at all.” Jihoon was quick to return, somehow he felt like admitting that he was still having troubles would be like proving Soonyoung right.

 

“Is that why you have solitaire open?”  _ Oops. _ It was safe to say that Jihoon hadn’t been at his most focused state for the past hour. 

 

“Uh, yeah.” Jihoon quickly closed the window. “Thought I deserved a break.” 

 

Seungcheol just laughed a bit, hanging over Jihoon’s chair as usual. The room went quiet, except for Jihoon’s light clicking. 

 

“Did Soonyoung come and leave you this?” Seungcheol suddenly spoke up, reaching over Jihoon for the takeout bag. As Jihoon looked up to face him he was met with Seungcheol’s collarbones hanging over him. That close Jihoon could make out Seungcheol’s slightly earthy scent, mixed with a little bit of sweat. It was a familiar scent, he’d known it for years and if Jihoon was being honest it did put him at ease, if only a bit.

 

“Aw, you didn’t drink the tea..” Jihoon was awakened from his thoughts by Seungcheol’s whining. He had straightened up and was now leaning on the desk instead.

 

“You know I prefer coffee.” Jihoon answered, quick to snap back into his normal, unbothered, persona. 

 

“If you can call that black mess you drink coffee.” Seungcheol shot back. “To be fair I’m unsure if can even be classified as an actual beverage.” 

 

“Yeah well the tea’s cold anyways so it’s too late either way.” 

 

“I guess.” Seungcheol did an exaggerated pout into the cup, before looking up at Jihoon again. “By the way,” he began, “did you two talk about anything special when he was here?” 

 

“... _ What? _ ” Jihoon froze up, looking over at Seungcheol with cautious eyes. 

 

“It’s just, he seemed really happy when he left and he kept going around humming for like 20 minutes.” Jihoon bit the inside of his cheek briefly. He was never speaking to Soonyoung about this stuff again.

 

“No, no we didn’t talk about anything special. Just you know, life. Work. The usual.” Jihoon coughed a bit, refusing to look Seungcheol in the eye. “How is your chest?” Jihoon asked, desperate for a subject change.

 

“My chest?” 

 

“Yeah you know-” Jihoon moved his hands over his own torso. “The whole burn business.”

 

“Oh!” Seungcheol’s face lit up. “Yeah, the marks already faded.” He lifted up his shirt to show and it was true, his chest was back to it’s usual, well-toned, appearance. As his eyes lingered for a bit he felt a strange, tight, feeling in his chest. 

 

“Great. Good.” He averted his eyes to his computer screen. “Great.” 

 

Once again the room became silent. He could feel Seungcheol looking at him but he didn’t dare to look back.  _ What the fuck had gotten into him? _ Sure, Jihoon was aware that Seungcheol was good-looking, he always had been, but never has looking at him made Jihoon feel  _ nervous. _ He was acting all sorts of weird right now, and he was unsure what was going on. It had to be because of Soonyoung messing with his head earlier. 

 

“I’m sorry.” Seungcheol finally spoke up. Jihoon just looked up at him in confusion. “I made things weird again this morning, didn’t I?” He looked over at Jihoon, arms crossed in front of his chest. 

 

Jihoon just stared back at him, not really sure what to reply. 

 

“Look,” Seungcheol continued, “I totally get that you can take care of yourself. I’m not trying to baby you or anything.” He scratched the back of his head. “It’s just that I’m not really sure what to do when I see you working so hard. I just want to help you as much as I can, y’know? But sometimes I don’t know how.” Jihoon met his eyes, and he couldn’t help cracking a small smile. 

 

“Yeah, I know.” He just said. “If I figure out something I need help with, you’ll be the first to know.” Seungcheol let out a slow breath.

 

“Okay, but you have to actually tell me.” He pointed his finger at him with authority. “No sneaking around pretending everything’s fine.” Jihoon held up both hands.

 

“Promise.” Seungcheol made his way to leave. 

 

“And sleep in a bed tonight!” He shouted before opening the door.

 

“Yes dad!” Jihoon teased, turning around to see him go, only to have something thrown in his face for that last retort. 

 

Removing the item from his face he caught Seungcheol -now in a t-shirt- giving him a last grin before closing the door. Looking down in his lap he found a hoodie. 

 

“Honestly..” Jihoon shook his head.  _ So dumb. _

 

For two days straight the shirt got to hang on the back of Jihoon’s chair. Jihoon didn’t acknowledge it when Seungcheol was there, and neither did he. Jihoon also sat there producing for pretty much the entirety of those two days, but to no use. He was completely and utterly inspirationless. 

 

Sometimes in the dead of night, when things felt particularly hopeless, he’d lean back in his chair and brush his cheek against the backrest. Then he could feel that familiar scent and for a second it made him feel calmer. But afterwards he was soon back to his usual state.

 

On the final of these nights Jihoon sat at his desk, incessantly hitting one of his pens on the edge of it. His head felt like it was made of cotton and at the same time like it weighed three tons. Last night, he actually had attempted going to bed like a normal person, if only to see if he could get back to his productive self, but it had been no use. He’d managed to lie there for an hour or two, until he gave up and went back to the studio.

 

Right now he was looking at an email from Youngsoo that he hadn’t dared to open yet. The only thing he could see was the subject line, which just read “????????”. He was deep in the shit right now, truly. Seungcheol had been down earlier and oh so kindly told him that he looked like shit, and Soonyoung had also come to pretty much stare at him disapprovingly for not heeding his advice.

 

Honestly, for a while now Jihoon had become increasingly desperate, and now wasn’t the first time that he’d contemplated doing something slightly drastic. He sat staring at the screen for a good 10 minutes, first at his inbox, then at the clock. 01:45. He took a deep breath and turned the screen off. 

 

He took his time exiting the studio, walking up those flights of stairs and into the adjacent building. He entered the dorm and walked through the hallway, and once again he found himself looking at Seungcheol’s sleeping form. 

 

He was hugging his duvet as usual, looking so relaxed it made Jihoon jealous. He took a deep breath, and then he kicked the side of the bed frame.

 

“Yah.” One kick. Two kicks. “ **_Yah_ ** _. _ ”

 

“Whu- wha-” Seungcheol opened his heavy lids to look up at Jihoon. At first Jihoon was unsure if he was even awake, but slowly he seemed to come to it. “What’s up..?”

 

“Scooch.” Jihoon demanded. 

 

“..Sorry?” 

 

“I said  _ scooch. _ ” Jihoon kicked the bed frame again and Seungcheol actually did move to the side, despite his slightly confused expression. Jihoon just got in without a word, turning a bit to make himself comfortable. “If I wake up and you’re spooning me, you’re dead.” He turned to say to his newfound bed partner. 

 

Seungcheol just stared at him, as if still trying to process this turn of events, but then he cracked a sleepy smile.

 

“You mean like this?” He said, pulling Jihoon’s back against his chest, and Jihoon could feel a low laugh echoing throughout Seungcheol’s body. 

 

“Hey-” Jihoon tried to wiggle himself free of Seungcheol’s grip. “Do you actually have a deathwish??”

 

Seungcheol just laughed even more and tightened his grip around Jihoon’s waist. Jihoon thought to protest -he really did- but there was that scent again, and for the first time in a while Jihoon could feel how  _ tired he was.  _

 

As he gave up his wiggling he felt his body grow heavy. He could feel Seungcheol’s rhythmic breathing resonate through him and suddenly sleep felt inevitable. 

 

“Goodnight Jihoonie.” Seungcheol said with a sigh, settling into sleep once again.

 

“G’night Seungcheol..” Jihoon’s mouth was barely forming the words.

 

As he drifted off one last thought echoed in his head. 

  
_ It’s totally just the bed. _ Was the thought.  _ Soonyoung can still fuck off. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Follow me on social media! That is if you want to read about me crying about writing and life in general haha
> 
> My tumblr: http://saltwaterstarlight.tumblr.com/
> 
> My Twitter: @swaterstarlight
> 
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